Jul 10, 2024
Phrases Used By A Toxic Person, According To Psychology
Kanakanjali RoyYou are overreacting
When someone says you're overreacting, they make your feelings seem unimportant. This phrase makes it look like your concerns don't matter and that you're wrong to feel the way you do. For example, if you tell a friend about a hurtful comment someone made and they say, "You're overreacting. It wasn't a big deal," it can make you doubt your feelings and discourage you from sharing how you feel in the future.
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I was just joking
Humour is a great way to bond with others, but it becomes harmful when used to excuse hurtful actions. The phrase “I was just joking” is often used to avoid taking responsibility for mean or rude comments. For example, if a partner makes a negative remark about your looks and then says, “I was just joking. Don’t be so sensitive,” they are using humour to avoid the consequences of their behaviour and continue being hurtful.
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You are too sensitive
Just like saying “You’re overreacting,” the phrase “You’re too sensitive” puts the blame on the person who is hurt. It suggests that their feelings are the problem, not the hurtful behaviour. This can make the person feel like they are at fault. For example, if a friend keeps making hurtful comments and says, “You’re too sensitive,” they are avoiding taking responsibility for their actions.
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You are lucky to have me
When someone says you’re lucky to have them, they’re suggesting they’re better than you and you should be thankful they’re in your life. This phrase makes you feel less valuable and implies you don’t deserve a fair and balanced relationship. If a partner often tells you how lucky you are to have them, it’s a sign they see the relationship as unequal, with them having more power.
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It is all your fault
Toxic people often avoid taking responsibility for their actions and blame others instead. The phrase “It’s all your fault” is a common example of this. In any disagreement or conflict, the toxic person will try to make you feel responsible for the problem. This way, they can avoid accountability and stay in control.
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I never said that
Gaslighting is a manipulative trick used by toxic people to make you doubt your own reality. For example, they might say “I never said that” when you bring up something they did or said. By denying their words or actions, they make you question your memory and perception. This can be very damaging because it makes you feel like you’re losing touch with reality.
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You are just like your mother/father
Family relationships can be complicated, and toxic people often use them to manipulate and belittle others. The phrase “You’re just like your mother/father” is a way to use family history to make you feel bad about yourself. By comparing you to a family member in a negative way, the toxic person tries to control your behavior and make you feel inferior.
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If you loved me, you would...
Emotional blackmail is a key part of toxic relationships. The phrase “If you loved me, you would…” is a clear example of this. By linking your love to a specific action or demand, the toxic person tries to control you through guilt and obligation. This creates an unhealthy dynamic where love is conditional and used as a weapon.
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I am sorry you feel that way
A real apology means taking responsibility for your actions and showing regret. Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not a real apology. It shifts the focus to the other person’s feelings instead of the bad behavior that caused them. This lets the toxic person avoid taking responsibility while seeming like they are sorry.
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